iim so freakg shaggd
ii dont lyk mine timetable nd ii dont reali lyk mine class.
ii made 2 new fwens which r li chuan's friends.
but ii m far more lucki than joy cos at least ii have li chuan t begin with
ii dont lyk skool nd it's worst now.
hectic timetable nd ii dont reali lyk mine CDS.
ii have got colour nd composition ..
made new fwens also, thanks t a girl in mine class.
ii din noe she was in mine class untill she tokd t me.
she was in a group nd her fwens tokd t me too, iim so damn glad(:

ii dont lyk mine lecturers ; tutors nd lab teachers, mayb onli one.
ii dont know isit them or r year2's suppose t be independent
we have t do our labs on our own ;nd ii hate OPSY(operating system), we cant sit tgether.
nd ii have no idea why m ii learning bouts OS.
ii dont reali lyk mine CDS too
it was suppose t be colours, but iim askd t draw ;even taibin felt weird.

ii dont know all mine classmates yet.
ii feel they r not in d least friendly ;hurs
dont lyk two of them toos, NOISY nd CRAPPY.
although ii have friends now, ii still miss mine old class.
ii miss attendg lects; tut; lab w them.
ii miss crappg; laming nd slackg with them.
ii miss bickering with hanhaw; r0y nd shawn.
ii miss doing tutorials ; lab nd pr0js with sijie nd joy.

;ii miss him toos.
ii miss him freakg loads ;c
ii hadn't tok t him since fri.
not on fone, sms or even msn ;C
hais.
ii wish ii could tok t him.
ii wish ii could see him.
ii wish ii could have him for me t hug..
T.T

18o4o6
went backs sk0ol for briefg nd it was so darn boring ..
serena gave us all mickey keychains(:

lunchd with classmates at kfc nd pr0ceeded t PS.
watchd 'firewall' with jocelyn.

19o4o6
met up with peiis; sandii; fongs nd kaii at US.
went t m0unt alvernia t visit nicole :D
met up with jori, it's been SO DMAN long since ii last saw him
mine hao hao jiemeii(^-^V
hehs, ii miss sec sk0ol times!

went up d ward nd saw loads of pepo, shockd.
llols (x
saw leslie ; jassmin ; jz ; jz's fwens.
nd there's shiying toos ..
saw baby nd she's SO DAMN CUTEs


watchd some tv nd chattd.
we saw this granny with her grand-daughter ii suppose.
that baby girl is a mix with germany.
she's gorgeous with nice eyes nd hair(x

met up with joanne for d first time
hmm, TALL laa she ..
llols
accompany her t study in d MORN(z_z
went t j8 after thats t walk ar0und.
when g0ing backs toapayoh saw her fwens at d station.
so weird laa ;
kbox was cancelled on sun.
ii went studying with sarina instead(:
met up with joanne nd she pass me d money nd jacket.
b0ught contact lense nd d person is nice enuff t give me a pair extra
hehes :D
ii finishd readg mine st0ryb0ok which is so nice laa ..
went h0me nd watchd d charity
OH. MY. GOD laa ..
z0e tay has 6 pac lo, gees ;
tdaes meetg up with peiis; fongs; dee; karads nd nich was cancelled.
plaed curler nd it was failure agains
tied a hair ii felt was nice nd zi lian-d
hahas ;x
had mos burger for dinner, YUMMY*

tml need t go backs sk0ol ehhs ;dunoes after that got go jocelyn's hse d plae curler then town nots.
m sians ehh ..
partly cos reali sian,
another was iim quite broke ;HMM! ii just hope d movie ticket coupon can b used(:

keep me in.
ii dont wanna noe about anithing ..
anithing which could make mine dae BAD

shut.


ii dont lyk d wae things r ..
DONT tell me.
......
..
...
.




ii dont lyk t go tynkg bouts bad stuffs.
ii just wanna feel ok with all d things that r going on ..
dont even wanna have d possiblity t suspect.
why isit so hard ..


even this.

SPECIAL post

this will be a long post :D
d post bouts me nd jocelyn; our daes outs.
TONNES of pictures will b uploaded at d end of d post :D

1oo4o6
we went sh0pping nd m0vie-ing at PS.
b0ught tickets f0r d m0vie "inside man"
went f0odc0urt t eat while j0celyn onli drank,
c0s she alr eaten at home while poor me need t eat outs.
we went sh0ppg nd b0ught slipper ; suntan oil ; aloe vera gel.
preparing mineself f0r tanning for d next dae(x
time was still earli so we went mos burger t sit down
jocelyn bought drink nd fries.
mine leg hurts cos ii was wearg heels but changed t slippers.

went for movie nd bought pop corn nd drink.
d show was okok but with no morale ;quites lame nd DUHs(- -
weird show it is, haa.
met up with peiis; fongs ; karad; jj after movie.
accompanied jocelyn t mrt station.
talkd for awhile nd went off ..

11o4o6

SENTOSA HERE WE COME!

sounds exciting? NOT!
it was a rainy dae .. ;c
we went headed off from harb0ur fr0nt despite d rain.
went t siloso beach but it was still drizzling(- -
we sat down nd chattd.
t0ok photos nd all, we t0ok TONNEs of pics.
hahas .. as usual(x

went t toilet t slack cos was raining outs.
we b0th were feelg irkd by d weather :(
spoil our tanning plan!
HURs
went backs t de beach sitting down.
THERE WERE LOADs of ANTs(- -
in d end there was SOME sun, so we lied down.
went off after an h0ur.
ii bathed nd j0celyn onli changed.
we hardly sweat in that kinda weather(- -
it was, in fact, rather c0ld.

went 0ff t harb0ur fr0nt.
ii ate mine 0nli meal, sushi ;we ate lil' nors .. that irks0me girl laa
eat le walk walk jiu g0 h0me.
reachd h0me upl0aded pics nd made a collage.
went off t SLEEP till 1o+ ;x

12o4o6
met up with peiis at t0apay0h central at 3+
ate mee h0on kuay, damn l0ng since ii ate that!
ate r0jak nd drank barley.
went 0ff f0r ph0ne hunt with peiis ..
she b0ught s0me samsung f0ne, not bad baa?
HURs(x

she headed back t w0rk nd ii went h0me.
j0celyn came mine h0use tdaes cos she was so BORED.
hahas ..
damn free laa she, from east coast t here.
so we just SLACK!(- -
webcam-d with nicole nd joanne.
she damn irksome sae paiseh .. haas ;x
ii watchd bleach nd let her watch southpark.
sendg her one now .. hoho










cam-wh0ring on bus t siloso beach(x



BEACH(:



being irksome on d beach

zi lian in d toilet(x

she snappd d irksome side of me ;C! llols





0utside toilet

SAD!! what a weather ;C

CLOUDY SKY ><~



waitg f0r bus g0ing backs fr0m siloso ..

SUSHI(x

tsktsk` eat also zi lian ;X



in d train; BIG BAG GANG! :D

COLLAGE <33

dined at some restuarant at orchard under meridian hotel.
there was this CUTEs caucasian who is a waiter ..
nd he served us :D
DAMN cutes of him yeah ..
d f0od there was not bad, but veh salty ii w0uld sae.
but ii damn lyk d cheesy garlic bread nd mashd potatos(x
NICE!
d meal was paid by mine br0's gf ..
mine mum then tell me c0s it's her bdae, HURs.
d meal was lyk 127.4o laa ;
so after meal went t0wn t SHOP!!
HOHOs :D
we went t heerens nd ii b0ught mine bag(x
was deciding between le c0q nd URBANmale ..
didn't expect mine mum lemme buy that URBANmale bag which costs 129
but she did, which is GOOD!
d bag ii b0ught c0uld b used as sling or side bag(x


cabbd h0me while mine br0 nd d gf went other places.
that taxi uncle so impatient sia, ii dunoes why(- -
nd it's quite irksome.
met up with sandii nd peiis at junction8 t sh0p ..
sandi b0ught sp0rt sh0es; jacket; perfume.
peiis b0ught perfume.
ii b0ught NOTHING! haa
ii cant spend alr laa!!
0nli wish that online d cl0thes faster c0me,
nd that ii w0uld be able t wear :D
hehes.


ii wishd things were simple nd me, happy-go-lucky.

iM SO FAT!!

went sentosa with mine cousin on wed.
went t celebrate pamela's bdae on thurs.
ate kenny r0gers; not that bad.
ii dont now why but d sprite ii orderd was ULTRA sweet.
drank it with j0y's OKOK lem0n tea.
sh0ppd f0r hh's pressie after dinner ..

ii b0ught two tops fr0m f0x when sh0ppg with j0y.
b0ught slimming drink 0n thurs when she came j8 t meet me.
that h0llyw0od one; nic0le's mum said it's not bad?
HURs
can give it a try.

ii need t get mine hair cut, soon.
mine fringe is so irksome ..
dont like(- -
need t get a bag s0on.
saw a nice NUM(new urban male) bag nd a le c0q one.
still deciding which t get ..

sowii girl, iim too lazy.
sowii yaa .. but it will pass, wont it.
pepo wont remember abouts it ..


ii ruind what had been good.
it has always been lyk thats ..
why m ii d spoiler always .. why m ii
it wasn't mine intention at all.
ii want him too much t want t lose him; nd ii cant afford t.
ii noe ii wont die without love,
ii noe ii wont die without him,
nd ii certainly noe ii will stil go on living without him.
but ii dont want t lose, not him.
why is this happening t me time nd again ..
ii have no right t start with, so what can ii do.
ii admit iim weak.


curiosity kills d cat .. happens t all ain't?
it sucks. but what can b done ..
all this doubts in me, what can ii do?
CLARIFY; uu would sae.
h0w m ii gona go bouts doing that?
tell me.
ii had no right t pursue d truth behind all these ..
nd noeing d consequences, ii noe it's a possibility ii would lose him.
ii alr dont own him .. how can ii afford this possibility.
how PATHETIC can ii b?
nicole said, when uu dont noe d truth .. it wont hurt
SO DAMN TRUE.
but ii dont learn, time nd again ii get mineself hurt.
mayb this shows how lil' trust ii have, in him nd me
or should ii sae .. in US
ii dont know what t do as everything aint certain.
ii have no security from d start, all ii have is his words; promise.
what does all this show?
d fact that he will worry ..
d fact that he is willing t be on fone with me despite being uncomfortable while gaming
d fact that he made an effort t assure me
d fact that we had been through so much nd so long ..
what does all this show?
no one is able t judge all this, even me nd him.


when pepo ask bouts us, ii simply dont know how t ans.
for we aint tgether after so long ..
but it is not something ii can control.
ii dont know whether t share mine probs with pepo too, aint it a hassle.
sometimes iim contentd just with him nd me.
ii dont have t care for anithing, nd hope nothing happens.


ii noe mine fwens all dont tynk well of him.
ii also dunoes whether isit right for me t continue all this.
ii dont even noe if he wants it ..
how much do ii noe him,
how much do ii noe what's happening.
ii onli noe what he tells me
ii can do nothing but trust him
he has that freedom t do what he wants.
so what he saes he loves me.
things can change .. that's when security comes in.
so what if he loves me ..
yes uu do anithing for d one uu love, but it ain't apply always.
he aint someone lyk d usual group out there lyk uu or me.
his lyfe is complicated nd weird.
it's lyk iim siding him ..
but actuali, ii also dont noe much of him ii'd sae.
his sk0ol lyfe ; his fwens ; his everything .. whatever that's going on


ii feel that thing uu all feel too ..
why is he doing this when he saes he loves me.
ii dont have an ans mineself, but what can ii do ..
ii reali wanna leave.
alot of times ii tried, but he would b ultra nice ii dont noe why.
nd ii cant get mineself away.


ii hate mineself for this.
now, iim scared t lose him.
ii dont noe why is there still hope for me t him, so long has passd.
t sae ii wanna give up when it's mine bdae or his, so earli t sae.
will we even last that long..
will ii even abide by the decision ii'v made ..
ain't all this just plain stupid.


ii also want t be happy.
ii, too, yearn for someone t own.
that happiness .. mine is so lil' but iim contented.
ii also want other's acknowledgement, but why isit so hard?


ii blame no one but ME.
bringing me in this situation where ii can do nothing,
nd not t go away.
iim too dependent on him.
iim sucha loser, ii reali feel it.
for bringing mineself into this deep shit ii cant get outs,
for clinging t him,
for getting mineself hurt nd continuing,
but ii reali want him.


loads of contradictories, it's killg me.
ii tynk iim real selfish ..
ii dunoes whether m ii reali seriously in l0ve with him or it's still those puppy love that ii seriously dont hope for.
mayb iim too naive nd too young for all this.
saeing not wantg for another r/s is childish ii suppose,
but it's hard.
fucking hard t get away .. but so easy t get caught.


fwens r with uu, but that empty feelg ain't fading ..

gees.
no idea why s0litaire sh0wd0wn is d0wn nd ii cant plae ;so here ii m bl0gging ehhs ..
laters sh0uld watch an epis0de of bleach nd c0nsider c0rg him.
fri there's n0 electricity at h0me till 5:3o(- -
lucki sandii ask me acc0mpany her t get her sis pressie.
went plaza sing .. went acti0n city
ii g0t mineself naruto(kakashi) m0usepad nd CUTEs tissue b0xes.
haa :D
d tissue b0xes reali DAMN cutes sia ..
sandii b0ught b0x.
ii returned t buy banana s0ftt0y f0r d sis ..
sandi b0ught access0ries t put in d b0x(:
YEAHs.
met up with peiis at tpy nd b0th 0f them went 0ff t w0rk.


went h0me nd slackd.
plaed curling hair with j0celyn, hers nice can.
mine was lyk MESSY!(- -
hahas ..
t0ok s0me pics with f0ne nd webcam, laters upl0ad.


jiafeii din c0me mine h0use t bake c0oking tdaes ..
she was last minute askd t w0rk earlier.
c0ming tml she said ..
ii w0nder sh0uld ii bake s0me toos, nd bring it t him.
ii reali want t .. but ii scared later he sh0ckd(- -
nd lyk d0wan t meet me ;gees.
what sh0uld ii do?
hmm .. ;


s0me funny t0y there ..

that t0y in bleach where d m0d s0ul is being put into .. haa

that b0x of 8 there is tissue :D

MESS.

neater .. haa

webcam-d.

j0celyn, that is.